The Muse Club

I never could understand how the Charles Bukowski barfly type of writer ever got anything done. The image of the drunk tortured soul writing brilliance from the booth of a bar made no sense. O Henry at Pete's Tavern in NYC. Dylan Thomas at The White Horse. Have you ever spoken to someone in a bar on a bender? The repetition, the inability to complete full sentences, the irrational emotions driving the whole cart, none conducive to concepts that I would find worth reading. It is hard enough for them to walk out of the bathroom without toilet paper on the shoe , let alone complete a 5000 word short story that somehow made it to the publisher without beer being spilled on it. It's times like that that makes me believe in the power of a muse, a very specific voice in their head helping them to tie the strings together and complete the story.

Writing creatively is a heady, lonely thing sometimes. It is not easy to expose a part of yourself in order to make a creative impact. Sometimes you avoid it in order to not have to finish because it is a long arduous process, especially the types that are long form like a 3-act play or a novel. The critical voice in your head can derail the whole works. Procrastination is a creative thief if you give it enough time to dig its heels in. No matter how brilliant you are if you can't finish your works or even get a decent start to it, you ain't nothing but a person staring at a sheet of paper or a blank screen.

The reference to a muse normally makes me think of either a hot woman that a musician keeps around to write songs about or the hooker of legend whom Van Gogh cut off his ear to give to her. She is a person who is lusted after in a most unrealistic way, on a pedestal that usually is very unsteady. Tragic or romantic or both.

I suspect that for some writers a muse is something more basic. They complete the need for a person to be heard, give a place for ideas to be processed and feedback to be given and, sometimes, to be written about if they fit the bill at the time. Maybe they are a literary agent or a wife or the support buddy from a writers group (sort of  a prose driven AA sponsor if you will). Or a  friend who understands the need to do this thing, at times not even aware of their position. Maybe even a child, forcing the inner voice to produce or else fail as a role model.  There is something about that person that inspires safety and/or makes the writer feel like they will be accountable to them.  Romantic inspiration lasts only so long. Utilitarian muses are stable, even if they may be temporary.

I always wondered if I have been someone's muse. I think I have. I think most of us have been. No one has sung a song just for me that I know of and I've never known me to inspire a line in love poem. I've read a lot of other people's writing, though. Listened to many jokes. I have  heard words fall out of the person, form something beautiful for the first time, witnessing creation that was talking to me first, have had ideas given over to me because I made them feel safe. I'm not sure if I've even given them a need to create but I have inspired trust, made them feel like they could be great when they completed something. And if I am very very lucky because I can say I was the first to this beautiful thing come to life and go on to become a success.

Thank you for being there all these years, my friends who have read for me, helped me form my ideas and kept me going with encouragement. "Muse" is an uncomfortable title but that is what you have been to me along with "friend."