Every time a school system cuts a budget and tosses out a class like Creative Writing over, say, Television Production I think to myself, "We are one step closer to living under crawl spaces." Words have always been as powerful, if not more powerful, as guns. No one goes around shooting people without words to start it. Well, most people anyway. And sometimes it isn't even verbalizing the words. Not using them can do the trick too, especially when done in a blatant and deliberate way. That's why the word "Love" can mess up a mind on so many levels.
It can ruin lives. It can repair lives. Nothing is easier to feel and so hard to say. Saying it renders your underbelly exposed and rejection of these words can feel worse than death. Verbalizing love can signify forgiveness. Reciprocation after a long war of emotions can heal trust and mend wounds. Misuse with manipulation of the words can create black deep hate. Withholding it can grows an elephant in the room so large that it sticks in your throat until it can't come out anymore. Saying it too early can stop the future of a relationship with uncomfortable silence. Saying it too late can be....too late.
Someone said that men fall in love with their eyes, women with their ears. I don't know about this. Maybe initially. But I know that my male friends are as subject to the effects of hearing the words as much as my female friends. If anything, I think they suffer more over the word "love" because often it doesn't come out as easily. If a sense of pride has been compromised and trust has been damaged before on some level, it could be a long time after the feelings actually return that you will hear that word. Because saying "I love you" is sometimes admitting that the anger is gone too, or worse, that this person has emotional power over you.
A boyfriend whom I had been dating for a few months started randomly acting like a complete jack ass. He was picking fights. He was slamming doors. He was stomping around being generally a social irritant. I couldn't figure out what I had done. Finally, I had had enough and said, "What the hell is wrong with you?" He inhaled, turned a little red and then yelled, "I think I'm in love with you! UGHH!" And then I said, " I love you too and I'm not too pleased about that either but there you have it." We didn't last forever because we were incompatible but it did go on for a couple of years and we really did love each other.
No wonder we are such a nervous society. "Love" is used in so many ways. Relationships that used to be forever are considered disposable when the love part is blackened when the inevitable downswings in the relationship force a quit....like a Macbook that has crashed....forgetting love that is buried under a pile of errors. Patience as a society is not our strong suit.
But if love is in there, it drives us anyway. We build our relationship's foundation on it. Even though "I hate you" can do so much damage, I don't think it stings nearly as much as "I don't love you." These words may be brothers as weapons but "I hate you" slides out so much easier and can be taken back with less humiliation. "I hate you" doesn't have nearly the power as love. You can't keep the war going, you can't manipulate power by withholding "I hate you."
And you can't cause the joy and make life feel worth living the same way that the word "love" does either.
