Astro disappeared a couple of nights ago. We don't have high hopes. Too many wild beasts in them thar Vermont woods and she is a dainty wee thing. It hurts that she is gone but we do have the comfort of knowing that whoever or whatever was stupid enough to try to take her down, regretted it immediately. It was like trying to grab an adorable looking Cujo. There are a lot of species-unspecific females like her, including myself. Sometimes I wonder if it is who we really are if we weren't told that we needed men to protect us.
Many years ago when I was little, being a princess was THE primo career goal and the very best type of princess was one who was rescued by a man. It was their job to protect us and I hoped to find one capable of fulfilling the job description, preferably with a horse.
Unfortunately (or fortunately), I spend my early adulthood living mostly alone in some of New York City's not yet desirable neighborhoods where white knights were usually dating women in better income brackets. The men in my world were usually too busy with gigs or hiding from landlords. It was not safe. I accepted that and learned how to think and watch and listen whenever I walked alone. In 17 years I wasn't harmed and I am positive that it was from doing everything in my power to not let the bad guys get near enough to touch me. That and stupid luck. And being 100% confident that I would tear out their eyes if they caught me.
The other night my friend did not protect a woman who was being harassed by a man. Or, at least that is how he felt later on in a pique of failure. Really, the woman wisely chose not to confront the crazy person who was bothering her and my friend probably did the instinctively intelligent move to not antagonize a lunatic. The society that he was reared in ingrained the message, "to be a man is to fight."
Another male friend of mine is a hot head. In the right mood, he will confront anyone who looks funny at him. I like him but he is an asshole. I prefer to not walk down the street with him . In the case with the aforementioned friend, he would have escalated the situation and may have gotten someone hurt. He is such a "man" that his ego goes straight to testosterone and passes the "think" part. And it never occurs to him that a woman might be able to handle the situation on her own and doesn't want his help.
Oh sure, if someone takes it upon themselves to start beating on me because I am smaller, please do step in, larger person who may be a man. The intellectualizing part of the show has left the tent. But please know that I got some shots in first and was glad I had given it my best to not be in this situation. Because, like Astro, I know when I am beaten but you aren't taking my vulnerability with you. I don't think a person is less of a man if he takes the time to choose when to confront and avoid it. In fact, I respect it because, if I am standing next to you, I have a better chance of surviving if you do.
*One week after her disappearance, Astro knocked on the door and came in for a bite and a nap without a scratch on her.
